Tuesday, 28 August 2012

The Empty Summer: an Experiment

This summer has been rather strange. For the first time since I was 13 I had no responsibilities. No school, no work, and most importantly no social group. When I left BC I left my friends behind me (there were too many to fit in my suitcases…), and my close school friends de-camped Halifax for other cities, so I was largely left with no one but myself. Sure, there are people in the city who I know, but I got tired of badgering people to hang out and decided that my energy would be better spent actually doing things instead of waiting around for other people. I’ve always been my own best friend and I’m quite used to being alone for long periods of time, but this has been the first time ever where I made the conscious choice to revel in my alone-ness. Some might say this is anti-social behavior, but I have a strict rule about friendships: I’m only willing to put into them the same amount as the person on the other end. Which means that when I have to organize every single social activity there’s something wrong with the friendship. Ironically, I’m not all that bitter that other people can’t be bothered to be social with me, because that gives me time to do all the things I want to do without having to answer to anyone else’s agendas. I still have almost 2 weeks til my classes officially start and the summer is finally over, but I actually did quite a lot during the summer even though I was alone.

…Went to 5 Value Village Sales (having more than one store in the city is awesome)
… Watched 68 episodes of True Blood
… Countless shopping trips (seriously it was a lot) but bought very little
… Bought 2 pairs of shoes
… Bought 2 vintage Louis Vuitton handbags (yes they’re real), and one Dior
… Completed an internship at MSVU
… Volunteered at the Centre for Art Tapes for 2 months
… Went to 8 job interviews, and applied for about 5x that many jobs
… Went to 4 movies alone, and 1 with a friend
… Read 152 books (seriously I’ll show you my book journals to prove it)
… Went on lots of random adventures around the city
… Wrote a bunch of short stories & poems

Most of that stuff would have happened with companionship, but I’m extremely glad of the massive dent that got taken out of my reading list. Not that my reading list isn’t still about a million books long… Maybe I just like myself better than most people do, which is why I don’t feel the need to fill my life with meaningless people. Maybe my time growing up in a noisy house made my value my solitude and closed doors. Or maybe I’m just like Charles Bukowski, and “I’m the best form of entertainment I have.” Whoever said that being introverted isn’t fun is totally nuts, because I love the fact that I can hang out with myself and be totally happy. Though I do enjoy the odd afternoon or evening hanging out with people who are worth my time J

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